


I Feel The Heat and I See The Light

by ObjectPermanence



Series: Fighter AU [3]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-05 02:17:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObjectPermanence/pseuds/ObjectPermanence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Javert lets the group out to go Christmas shopping! Why? Nobody knows!<br/>Grantaire was sitting in the corner, staring longingly at the very small window right below the ceiling. A faint bit of blue sky was visible, and the light fell in a pool around him. Enjolras walked slowly towards him. "It's been 5 months." Grantaire muttered bluntly, his gaze not shifting as Enjolras sat down next to him.<br/>"5 months since what?" He asked, looking up at the window, trying to understand the boy's interest in it.</p><p>Grantaire continued to stare at the barred window. "Since I've seen the sky. When we go out working we leave at night, and come back before dawn. I haven't seen the sun in 5 months."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Feel The Heat and I See The Light

For the next two weeks Enjolras didn't acknowledge what had happened between him and Grantaire in the shower. Still unsure about his feelings and thoughts on the matter, he chose to stay silent, and act as if it hadn't happened. And for two weeks his existence consisted of training, and sleeping. There wasn't another public fight for another 5 days, which Javert had mentioned would be Christmas. It was hard for Enjolras to believe he'd been in Paradise for almost a month and half, when it had only felt like a few weeks.  Joly had happily announced that everyone would be allowed to go into town for two hours the next days to go Christmas shopping. It seemed quite odd to Enjolras that despite being kept like slaves, they would be allowed to go Christmas shopping. Eponine had shrugged and explained that, "Javert's super weird about some stuff. As long as he's got eyes on you, you can pretty much do whatever you want."

Realizing that he had no money Enjolras was both sad and slightly happy that he was unable to buy anything. He had no money because, unlike the others, had not sold his body. Grantaire had assured him that he would do it eventually, but Enjolras wasn't so sure. Prostitution was completely awful in his mind, and unthinkable act. 

Enjolras had abstained from sex his entire life, not because he was asexual, but because he had more important things to do. Sex was the last thing on his mind, coordination protests and making a difference in the world held more incentive than an orgasm that would last for a few seconds. He just didn't understand the appeal, sure he jacked off every now and then, but only when necessary, never simply for pleasure.

Grantaire seemed to regard sex with a near casual attitude, not viewing it anything particularly special. Enjolras had once heard a saying, Cynics in bed are something to behold because nothing is sacred to them. Eponine dodged his questions, refusing to answer or giving vague responses. Almost everyone had seen Montparnasse's passes at her, and Bahorel claimed to have once seen him give her a large sum of money. The attitude towards sex in Paradise was along the lines of don’t ask don't tell. You simply did not discuss where you got you money, which was unless you were Bahorel, who often bragged of his conquests. Where Enjolras had grown up sex was a taboo topic, his parents had never given him 'the talk', instead simply telling him not to have sex, which suited him just fine. 

 

-ooo-

The next day Joly unlocked everyone's cells, and ushered them into the training room. Javert's going to be here in a moment." He rushed off down the hall, leaving all of them to mill around the room. Bossuet was sparring with Bahorel. Jehan was braiding Eponine's hair into two tight pigtails. Grantaire was sitting in the corner, staring longingly at the very small window right below the ceiling. A faint bit of blue sky was visible, and the light fell in a pool around him. Enjolras walked slowly towards him. "It's been 5 months." Grantaire muttered bluntly, his gaze not shifting as Enjolras sat down next to him.

"5 months since what?" He asked, looking up at the window, trying to understand the boy's interest in it.

Grantaire continued to stare at the barred window. "Since I've seen the sky. When we go out working we leave at night, and come back before dawn. I haven't seen the sun in 5 months."

Enjolras felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. "You haven't been outside in 5 months?" He whispered in shock, hoping he'd misheard Grantaire.

"I've gone longer, before I didn't go out for 11 months." His gaze hadn't moved an inch from the bit of blue, and Enjolras understood. Grantaire had been so full of life, and now he was in darkness. "No one loves the light as much as the blind man." The darkhaired boy whispered as Enjolras placed his arm around his shoulder.

The telltale click of Javert's shoes woke Grantaire from his trance as he entered the room. "Alright. As you all know we're going shopping. There are clothes in your cells. And if any of you fuckers let anyone know who you are I'll kill you. You make one slip up, and you'll never see the sun again. Understand?" Everyone nodded silently, and shuffled back to their cells.

 

-ooo-

On his bed Enjolras found a plain white button up shirt and a pair of jeans with black Converse. He dressed quickly, grabbed the black hoodie off the bed and just before he followed the others back into the training room he noticed something glinting poking out of his blankets. Pulling the covers back he discovered about $100 in small bills and coins on his bed. Enjolras quickly stuffed the money into his pocket before he raced out of his cell to meet up with the others.

Eponine was wearing a black top with a red floor length skirt, her hair was no longer braided. Jehan was dressed in a blue zip-up sweatshirt and black skinny jeans with green Converse. "Well don't you look dashing." Courfeyrac punched Enjolras in the arm with a force he might have considered hard two weeks ago, but was nothing now. He wore jeans and a red plaid shirt over a black T-shirt.

"Oh yes, very much so." Enjolras responded, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he punched Couf back, equally as hard. "So everyone's here?"

Courfeyrac shook his head, "We're still missing R." Enjolras realized that he might be the only person who knew Grantaire's real name.

"No you're not!" Grantaire jogged up behind Courfeyrac, and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. "Don't count me out fucker!" He mocked Javert's voice and common use of 'fucker', making Corfeyrac laugh like a child. Grantaire was dressed in a light gray T-shirt with a faded peace symbol on it, skinny jeans, and blue converse, a gray hoodie slung over his arm. The peace symbol made Enjolras snicker, knowing that his friend must hate the shirt. However Enjolras appreciated how it clung to Grantaire's body, showing off his well muscled torso, and strong arms.” Sorry I stopped to shave, getting a bit too beard-y for my taste." Grantaire rubbed his hand over his freshly shaven jaw. Realizing he was staring, Enjolras averted his gaze from Grantaire, and instead looked at Eponine who was chatting idily with Combeferre.

"Alright. You guys have 4 hours, max. It's 3pm now, be back here at seven at the latest. No hooking up with outsiders. Lets go." Javert led the group out through the main ring, through another door, and up a few flights of stairs. Eventually they met a large set of double doors. Enjolras heard Grantaire suck in a breath as Joly opened the doors. Sunlight poured over the ragtag group of twenty-somethings, and a unified gasp escaped them. "Go nuts." Javert threw his arms up, and walked inside, Joly followed obediently behind him, shutting the door.

Enjolras realized how much he'd missed the sun in the last month, it's warmth and light made him feel safe. The cell he'd called home was dark and cold, always smelling of smoke and pain. But outside the air was sweet and crisp, a small bit of snow collected on the ground. He took a tentative step out into the white powder, it made a small crunch beneath his foot. A smile spread across his face, for the first time in what felt like forever he was happy. Enjolras felt free as the group began to run down the sidewalk, towards the large skyscrapers. "Come on R!" He yelled back at the boy who was still standing like a statue, looking up at the sky. Turing around he raced back and gripped Grantaire's hand, pulling him along.

The group laughed and yelled as they raced towards the town, all of them excited to be alive and back in the world, if only for a brief moment. Cars raced past the, and pedestrians looked at them with odd glances. They did look a bit out of place, they all had black eyes or cuts on their faces, and they were running down the sidewalks yelling. Grantaire was smiling like a child, his hand still entwined with Enjolras's as they entered the Main Street. It was quite a large city, and was apparent that Paradise was located under a building on the outskirts of town.

There was a fine powder of snow that dusted the shops, and frost clung to the windows. Eponine and Courfeyrac broke off from the group first, entering a small sweet shop that had a chocolate fountain in the window. Bahorel went into a sporting goods store a few minutes later. Bossuet and Jehan disappeared into a record store, and Feuily ran into a MacDonalds at the first chance he got. Leaving Grantaire and Enjolras wandering through the streets, looking up at the blue sky. "I never realized how much I missed the sky." Enjolras breathed, rubbing his neck, which had, began to cramp after looking up for so long. 

"Yea, I think that's what I miss the most." Grantaire said, still looking up at the clouds, "That and my guitar."

Enjolras turned to him, "You play?"

Grantaire broke his gaze on the sky to look at Enjolras, "Yea, before Paradise. It's been so long, sometimes I really miss it. Joly can get me art supplies, but I've never had the nerve to ask for a guitar." They continued to walk for a while, passing shop after shop until Grantaire pointed towards a small store with a bright blue door. "Let's get ice cream."

Enjolras snorted, "Are you crazy? There's snow on the ground!" Grantaire shrugged, and dragged Enjolras towards the shop, adamant on going. Inside the shop was warmer, and mostly empty. The walls were the same blue as the door, and a line of cold cases ran next to one wall. A young girl sat being the counter, furiously typing on her phone. 

Enjolras sighed, and Grantaire ran up to the cases, peering inside like a child. "What are you going to get?"

"Nothing. It's fucking freezing outside!" Enjolras pulled his hoodie off and dropped it onto a chair at one of the tables before joining the darkhaired boy at the case.

Grantaire punched him in the arm, "You'll regret it. This place has the best ice cream I've ever had." He paused for a moment, studying the contents of each case, "Excuse me! I'll have one scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cone please!" The girl put her phone away, and quickly scooped his ice cream. "And he'll have a scoop of vanilla." Grantaire jammed his thumb back towards Enjolras who gave him an annoyed look.

The girl scooped the ice cream, and handed the cones to the boys before going over to the register. She punched in a few numbers, "That'll be three dollars." Grantaire handed over the money, and sat down at the table.

"Just trust me!" He begged Enjolras as he took a lick of ice cream, drawing too much attention to his mouth.

"Fine." Enjolras sighed, licking his cone hesitantly. At first it just tasted like vanilla, and then his taste buds died and went to heaven. "Holy shit." He breathed, "This is the best ice cream I've ever had!"

"I told you!" Grantaire poked him in the chest, "You didn't believe me!" Enjolras rolled his eyes, and began devouring his ice cream as fast as he could, while still trying to avoid brain freeze.

He was nearly finished when he noticed Grantaire looking at him with a look of pure adoration. "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" He joked, poking Grantaire in the arm.

"Oh trust me, I would if I could!" Grantaire laughed loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the deserted shop. 

Enjolras laughed, poking the darkhaired boy's nose with the edge of his cone. A bit of his ice cream sticking to the boy's nose. He chuckled, and pointed at Grantaire's face.

The boy stuck his tongue out at the golden haired man, and wiped his sleeve across his face a moment later.

"You're such a child." Grantaire teased Enjolras as they finished their frozen treats."

Enjolras snorted, "Like you're not?"

"Touché." Grantaire responded as they exited the shop, going back into the city. It was slightly colder, but they walked next to each other, keeping them warmer. "So, it's 4:15, where do you want to go?"

Enjolras shrugged and pointed to a random building across the street. "Why not there?"

 

-ooo-

A minute later they entered the small shop, inside it was actually a Starbucks. The room smelled of coffee and cinnamon, and it reminded Enjolras of the many all-nighters he'd pulled in college, surviving on a latte and pure luck. "Want anything?"

"Hot chocolate. I'm not much of a coffee person." Grantaire dug into his pocket, and produced a few dollars, reminding Enjolras of the small fortune he'd been carrying around.

"It's okay, I've got it!" He said pulling out the money, and paying for their drinks. "One hot chocolate, and one caramel latte."

"Name?" The man behind the counter asked.

"Apollo for the latte." Grantaire interrupted Enjolras before he could speak.

"And Winekask for the hot chocolate." Enjolras responded quickly, giving Grantaire a look over his shoulder. The man just wrote down the names, and handed them to the barista.

"I'm using the bathroom. I miss real toilets." Enjolras told Grantaire once they'd found a table.

 

-ooo-

When he got back their drinks had arrived and Grantaire handed his latte over. "Okay, let's go!" He said walking towards the door. Enjolras followed him out onto the sidewalk, clutching his latte for warmth. "Wanna' go to the park?" Grantaire asked after they had run into Eponine.

"Sure, I'll meet you there. But I want to go shopping with Ep' for a bit." Enjolras nodded towards Eponine.

Grantaire waved his hand in dismissal, "Okay cool, meet you in like an hour?" As Enjolras walked off with Eponine Grantaire sipped from his hot chocolate and walked the other direction.

"So, you got anything specific in mind?" Eponine asked as they wandered through the streets, glancing in shop windows occasionally.

Enjolras felt slightly embarrassed, "I want to get Grantaire a guitar. He mentioned that he missed playing his old one."

Eponine nodded, "Sounds good, the music store's over there." She pointed towards a large intimidating looking building. They walked inside and were met with the most musical instruments Enjolras had ever seen. There were flutes, violins, violas, oboes, bassoons, cellos, uprights basses, and many he couldn't name. "Guitars are over there." Eponine pointed towards the left corner of the shop.

Enjolras crossed towards the wall that was covered in acoustic guitars. There were at least 30 separate designs, and tens of guitars lined the walls. His gaze swept over them, taking in the embellishments and colors of the guitars. Some were darker brown whereas some were very light brown, almost beige.

A short woman with frizzy brown hair came over, "Looking for a guitar?" Enjolras nodded, still looking at the guitars. "How much are you looking to spend?"

"I've got $95. Is there anything I can get for that?" Enjolras looked at her digging in his pocket for the money, and presenting it to her.

She nodded, "Not much, but I'll see what I can do." Looking up she pointed out one guitar. "You can get that one." The guitar in question was a medium chestnut brown, and had numerous scuffs along the body. "It's kinds dinged up, but it plays like beautifully. You want me to bring it down?"

"Yes please." Enjolras watched her leave, and return with a ladder. She set it up, and climbed to the top, where she retrieved the guitar. Once the woman was back on the ground she handed the guitar to Enjolras. He cradled it in his arms, looking at it happily. He experimentally strummed it, reveling in the rich sound it made. "I'll take it."

Eponine turned to him as they walked towards the counter, "I'm sure he'll love it."

"Hey would you mid holding onto it while I'm at the park?" Enjolras asked as he paid the woman, and put the guitar in the case.

Eponine held the door open for him, "Yeah, you wouldn't want to look like a douche bag with a guitar at the park would you?" She laughed as Enjolras made a face at her.  "Sure, but you owe me a coffee!"

They walked back to the Starbucks and went inside. Eponine got a large black coffee, and Enjolras got another hot chocolate for Grantaire as well as another latte for himself. "Thanks Ep'! I owe you!" He called as he ran out of the Starbucks, heading for the park.

 

-ooo-

While on his way to the park Enjolras saw Grantaire a few yards ahead of him. Reaching down he made a snowball, and threw it directly at his back. It hit its mark, making the smaller boy jump in surprise. "Hey Taire'!" He called and ran up to him.

"Hey Enj!" Grantaire slapped him on the back. Enjolras pushed the hot chocolate into his hands. "Thanks! You're awesome!" 

They set off towards the park, their feet crunching on the snow covered ground. "So, which town is this exactly?" Enjolras asked, sipping his latte.

"I've never really had the inclination to ask. Just never seemed important, it's more of the who then the where in my mind." Grantaire downed some of his hot chocolate as they walked.

"I get that." Enjolras nodded, the park coming into view. A large pine tree was at the center, surrounded on one side by a small duck pond, which had frozen over. There was a children's play structure, complete with the slide and everything. A few benches were scattered here and there, but the park was deserted except for them. They sat down on a plastic bench that faced the play structure. They drank their Starbucks for a while in silence until Enjolras piped up. "What's your story? Who is the mysterious Grantaire?"

Grantaire laughed and took a sip of hot chocolate. "Well, I was born in New York. My Mom was 17 when she had me, and my Dad was her math teacher at the time. So I am the result of an 'inappropriate student teacher relationship'." He put air quotes around the title, as well as assumed a stereotypical announcer voice, and laughed at himself. "My half-sister's name is Julie, she's three years younger than me. When I turned four, social services put Julie and me into foster care. We got separated a few months later, and I haven't seen her in years. I bounced around a bit, but stayed mostly in New York and New Jersey. The system had a ranking system for difficult kids, 1-5, five being horrible and one being annoying. I was a four." He chuckled for a moment before continuing. "I suffered with depression in High School, and tried to kill myself the night of my senior prom. Spoiler alert, I failed. And I graduated High School, and started doing art full time. And that's pretty much my life." Grantaire drank some more of his hot chocolate. "What about you?"

"Born in Seattle, raised part time there with my Mom, part time in New York with my Dad. I have a twin named Cossete, we don't talk much. Honors student in High School, I didn't go to any social function at the school. And I was attending NYU, studying Justice and Politics when I came to Paradise." Enjolras replied bluntly, swirling his coffee around in the cup. "So, Foster Care, I've heard the system can be pretty jacked."

Grantaire nodded, "I had a foster dad who used to beat me. Just for sport." He clutched his cup tighter, his breath hitching. "I thought maybe if I was a better kid he would stop. But he never did. He'd get drunk and hit me..." He took a large gulp from his cup. A light dusting of snow was beginning to fall around them. "I thought it would never end. I thought it was normal." Shaking his head he stood up. "And then one day he told me to leave. So I lived in the streets for about six months." Enjolras followed Grantaire as he walked towards the children's play structure. "I was eleven."

"Taire' I had no idea." Enjolras gripped his hand tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"That's why I don't care about which town we're in. Every where’s the same." Grantaire continued towards the structure until they were climbing up the steps towards the slide. At the top there was a roof that was peaked, but still about half an inch too short for Enjolras. They sat on the ground, facing each other. "I like places like this. It reminds me of when I lived with my Mom. I only have a few memories of her." Grantaire looked up at the ceiling, which was covered with graffiti, initials and proclamations of love. "The most vivid is sitting on a playground like this. She's sitting on the grass scolding me for skinning my knee while playing soccer. It's the happiest memory I have."

"Well, you should make new memories." Enjolras said, leaning in and pressing his lips against Grantaire's. His taste of whiskey and caramel flooding over him, and melting the chill from his bones. The kiss was sweet and innocent, not hurried and hungry like the last two, but soft and kind. Enjolras cupped Grantaire's cheek in his hands, bringing his closer. His dark curls falling their eyes and Grantaire wrapped his arms around Enjolras's waist, their drinks abandoned next to them.

Then Grantaire whispered something against Enjolras's lips. Something slightly insane. "I think I love you."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, the Foster Care stuff is mostly stuff some of my friends have told me. If there are any errrors in it just go ahead and tell me.


End file.
